I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
