My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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