I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
accomplished twins. life is a go
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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