Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
