We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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