I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize