don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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