508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
