I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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