the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
