it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
