I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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