Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
