ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
