Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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