he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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