It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
