Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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