i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
