my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
