me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
