So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize