K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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