Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
