Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just had sex on a roof
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
