shes about as inviting as chlamydia
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
