So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
