On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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