i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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