Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize