i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
