True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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