Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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