Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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