it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the day after is always just damage control
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
