Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
