Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize