I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
