Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
