Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
