...so i touched it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize