found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
