no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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