I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize