he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
How external is "for external use only"?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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