At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
