If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
