There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If I die, sorry about rent.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
