i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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