she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
