That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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