the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize