I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
