I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
