So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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